For I am and I ought not be

 I have lost too much

to find this light...

basked in non-privilege

to get this skin-deep.

Yet this resentment

for all I have not been

weighs me down.

I lost my self

in years of drowning;

as I wander, weak and adrift,

watching the imagined lives of higher selves.

I reach for lighthouses

I do not own,

losing more than I rescue—

the weight sinking me further,

the burden growing.

I wish to be lighter

with my own weight.

As I lie shattered at rock bottom,

light rayleighs through my fog.

The haze is a blessing;

it is time to gather my pieces

and let the not-me drift away.

And when I must judge,

decide, or act—

let me be strong and wise enough

to stay alight.

To respect what is truly mine,

letting nature flow through what is not,

in harmony with my cosmos—

for who I am, and I ought-not-be.